They tell me I used to be good with women
by Trey St. Clare
Summary: Loki's melancholy has been lingering for days, ever since his return from Otherworld, and when it becomes aparent that it is in no hurry to shift the all mother intervenes. enlisting a skeptical Thor to give Loki the facts of life, after all a mother knows best, and Asgard has three. a journey into mystery fic.


Ikol had told him once before, that he had once had tact with ladies. However, at this point in time he thought that to be one of his many lies. All interaction he had had with ladies, that he could remember in this current form, was awkward, embarrassing or terrifying. In fact on more than one occasion, it had been more than one of these at the same time!  
Most prominently there had been that time with Sif, that had been altogether terrifying, and despite her state of undress not in the slightest arousing.  
There was the time, no sorry scratch that times, plural, where he was with Leah. He seemed to have no way of understanding her. Did she like him, didn't she? Was she just his friend, or was she merely obliging for the sake of duty. He had no way of knowing for sure, and no means of comparison. Any tack he may have once held with the opposite gender was lost to him now, and all he had was the word of a talented liar to tell him he had.  
He didn't know what had compelled him to take this line of thought as of late. But since he had lost Leah he had been thinking a lot about, well her, and by association his interaction with women. After long sleepless nights of contemplation he supposed he was trying to work out what sort of relationship he was morning.

Loki had been unusually quiet since his return from other world. At the start the all mother had put it down to sulking at the poor choice that he had made on his mission, and an inability to see himself as wrong. But as the days passed by, and his melancholic refused to shift, they grew more and more concerned. They had called him in on several occasions but Loki's banter was not forth coming, and with no real mission to send him on, it was starting to look suspicious.  
It was Idunn who had mentioned it, one warm afternoon in the rune garden.  
"Perhaps the root of his angst lies in girl trouble." The others looked at her, faces blank and not really knowing what to make of the suggestion. She felt she had to clarify,  
"Well when we heard news of the broken window, at the purveyor of shaken milk, they had mentioned he was with a girl of similar age. When he returned from Other world his indignant response to Frigga's wise council had seemed, altogether too hot blooded. Perhaps we forget how little Loki knows, or remembers as he is now." As she said all of this from her position on a rune, Gaea and Frigga looked on in awe, But Frigga was the first to break the silence with an answer.  
"Do you really think with Loki it could be something that simple?" She questioned but her own voice lacked conviction. If this new life was some ploy of Loki's, she feared she was starting to fall for it.

"I see no reason why it should not be." Idunn seemed self-satisfied with her analysis, she felt no compulsion to pursue persuasion further, her confidence in her answer only spoke for this. Frigga sighed turning to Gaea.  
"And what say you?" Gaea had till this point remained quiet, but when she answered her voice was laced with a concern.  
"I feel it would do no harm at this stage to pursue all options, for I fear a quiet Loki can only mean mischief is brewing." she looked up eyes tainted with a mothers concern. Frigga looked from her back to Idunn, then addressed them both.  
"Well what do you propose we do, for all he talks to us he never truly says anything. And I would wager the birds and the bees are not the conversation for him to start." She looked at Idunn who had suggested the idea, "He trusts us little, I doubt he would be so vulnerable to us."

Idunn smiled coyly at the others, then focused her gaze directly on Gaea.  
"Well who else should be the one to give him manly advice, than his own dear brother?" She smiled in Gaea's direction, and she had a sinking feeling she would be the one to ask Thor to do this.

He had moped about his tower for days now, not venturing outside for anything. In Asgardia most people wanted to pick fights with him, to settle some slight that he had no recollection of. He used to avoid this by venturing into the Midgardian settlement of Broxton, but since he lost Leah the town held a nostalgic macabre that was no longer a pleasurable alternative. So he sat in his tower, distracting himself with the infinitely entertaining world of online. As viewed through his pad of I.

But he had been right before about the inhabitants of Midgard who associated on the internet, they were indeed uncouth. And all of this offered little distractions from the questions that where running round his head.  
How indeed do you know if you like a woman? How do you know if they like you back? And what then?  
Did he like Leah as more than a friend, he was unsure as to the appropriate level of morning. If he did what now she was gone? Was it love would he ever feel this again? Had he felt it before? There where so many things that he needed answered. But he needed a more reliable source of information that Ikol. It really was starting to drive him to distraction. He needed to move on and sort out all of these feelings that he was bottling up. The question was but who? Who could he ask? There where little choice of people who knew him in his past life and would be 1: willing to help him and 2: that he trusted to know about such feelings.  
After consideration and careful thought, he had assessed that Volstagg was the best option. Although he would admit, he had little options to choose form. He had been the least hostile towards him, he at least to a small degree, allowed himself to trust Loki, and had before been forthcoming with tales of his and Thor's youth. Well it was settled, while he still had the courage to do it he would find Volstagg. He ventured out of his tower with the consolation that Volstagg would at least not be hard to spot!

Thor had been in the great hall, with lady Sif and the warriors three when he received his summons from the all mother. The steward had come swiftly straight after being dispatched by the all mother, and upon finding Thor, told him in a breathless tone that they desired his presence in the rune garden, at his first convenience. The days of late had been relatively peaceful, and he could think of no pressing danger he knew of. So goaded by the idea of an immediate threat, he took leave of his companions and made his way swiftly to the rune garden where the all mother waited.

Loki had found him in the great hall, surrounded by the others of the warriors three and the lady Sif. He had perched himself on one of the higher window ledges looking in on the hall. He would wait there, out of sight, until his opportunity arose. He saw no need to put himself in the path of slighted Asgardians to speak with him, and he knew the others would not trust him to have Volstagg alone, lest he be up to some cunning plot. So on the ledge in the shadows he waited. For if there was one thing he could be sure of, it was if there was food concerned, Volstagg would be the last to leave.  
And he was right about that, after all the rest of the warriors the and the lady Sif had left, Volstagg was still in his same seat consuming what much have been his seventh leg of mutton! It seemed like Loki had waited for hours for him to finish and leave the hall, but to look in the bright side Volstagg was always in a pleasant mood when full. So as he made to leave the hall, Loki jumped down from his shadowy hiding place to meet him at the door.  
"Volstagg! Glad to see you." He greeted as he walked alongside him. Volstagg jumped slightly, having previously not noticed Loki in his place of hiding.  
" Ahh! Loki I wish the same could be said of you. Where have you come from, and what do you want? No good ever comes out of your lurking!" Replied Volstagg continuing to move in the direction of the training grounds. He moved fast for his size, and all the food he had just consumed, no doubt aided by the desire not to be associated with Loki. Loki looked somewhat dejected by Volstagg accusatory tone and quick footwork, in what seemed to be any destination that was not near him.  
" Good Volstagg, I beg you indulge me for but one question. I require your assistance, and you are the only one who can help!" He implored, but this only seemed to spurn him further.  
"No. I know no good can ever come of you beseeching, and I don't even want to think of that which I had to do last time you claimed I was the only one who could help! I suggest you look for assistance elsewhere."  
"You may not want to think about what you had to do dear Volstagg, but you will not deny, I hope, that it was anything but necessary for the greater good! You where an integral part of defeating the serpent, and weather you care to admit it or not, it was only through you helping me that Thor was able to defeat it. However, you can rest assured that I have come looking for no such obligation this time Volstagg. I merely wish to ask you a question. A question to which I desperately need to know the answer! And you should know as well as I that I can seek no assistance from those in Asgard. You are really the only one who can help." Volstagg pace slowed, he was begrudged to admit it but what the boy spoke was true, and who else in Asgard would help the boy. He turned to him and looked down on him, he looked thinner, Volstagg had always maintained that those without an appetite where not to be trusted. But he looked more than thin, tired as if sleep had eluded him for more than a few nights. He sighed in resignation.  
"If all you seek is the answer to a question, and it is something I should think will do you no harm to know, then I shall help you Loki. However, I make no promises, knowledge is power, and I am reluctant to give you any more of that than is necessary." Loki smiled up at him in what on any one else Volstagg would assume was genuine gratitude, but Volstagg new better than to trust Loki. And changing direction, they made their way to the quiet and derelict edge of Asgardia that looked out towards the town of Broxton.

Thor had arrived at the ruin garden ready to face bravely whatever trouble might lie in Asgards future. However, he was confronted with a much calmer scene than that which he had been expecting. The all mother sat in the shade of Idunn's apple tree, idly gossiping between each other when he pulled close and brought his presence to their attention.  
"You wished my audience all mother." He said, as he stood respectively before the three.  
"Yes we did." Said Frigga with a smile on her Face "We had not expected you to come so soon, the herald I trust delivered our message, that you should come when convenient?" She looked at him with a questioning gaze. His prompt arrival was obviously due to the fact that he thought that there was some immediate and pressing danger, that threatened the time of relative peace.  
"Yes, he did. However, when a request comes from you, one can never be too cautious. What you seek of me I would prefer settled quickly, in case it should grow to fester problems later." This was his reply to the all mother, as he tried to seem as wises as he could to compensate for his obvious overzealous reaction to their summons. Gaea smiled at him, humour and mirth wrote across her face as she complimented her son.  
"What a wise attitude to take , and one we share this is a matter. We would prefer to see resolved quickly." At this Thor sobered a little, although there was no pressing danger he felt that whatever was to follow would be less than pleasant. Frigga was the one who spoke next and the words instantly made Thor's stomach sink with dread.  
"We need to talk about Loki." His dread must have shown on his face, for as soon as she said it she followed quickly on with an explanation. "Do not look so anxious Thor, he has done nothing as of yet to warrant it. However, you as his brother must have noticed, as we have, that he has been out of sorts lately?" Thor's relief was tangible. Although he had maintained that he would stand up for the boy in the face of the overwhelming negative Asgardian reaction to his return, he continually had this feeling of foreboding. As if waiting for him to turn sour and go back to his old ways. Luckily for Thor though, today was not that day and if his luck held, that day might never come. But what Frigga had spoken was true, even for his tricky recluse self, Loki had seemed far more distant and evasive as of late.  
"Yes, I have noticed a lingering melancholy about the boy as of late. but you know as well as I his reluctance to speak of his feelings. For all he talks a lot he very rarely _says_ anything." Thor's reply held much unspoken regret, for as much as he was closest to Loki he wished he would trust him more.  
"Yes we know his ways Thor, but we believe that we have sussed the problem for ourselves." Thor looked a little shocked and a little hurt both at the same time. He thought that he had been the closest to his brother, yet the all mother had noticed as well, and had already worked out what was wrong. His thoughts must have shown clearly on his face, for Idunn spoke in a gentle tone to him.  
"We are the all mother Thor, and a mother knows best, don't think us as closer to him than you. If that was the case we would not need you to speak to him for us. However, we like you are concerned for him." Thor sighed.  
"What do you think to be the problem with him?" He looked on expectantly for the answer that had eluded him for these past few days, and Idunn and Frigga both looked on to Gaea to answer that.  
"We think he has been having girl trouble." She stated it so bluntly, but Thor just stood there, the sentence milling over in his head. Of all the things that could be wrong with him that seemed far to . . . well normal to Thor.  
"Girl problems, Loki, girls. No that is far too simple that would never get to him like this, would it? I mean does he even have female acquaintances?" He looked expectantly for some justification for what Thor could only believe was a fantastical situation.  
"He has been known to associate, we are told, with a girl of similar age in the Midgardin settlement close by. He had been there many times with her, until recently. Perhaps he needs someone to talk too about it." Gaea carried on and ended with her most persuasive smile.  
"And you wish me to discuss such matters with him?" They all smiled now as Frigga pointed out.  
"Well you are his big brother. You have a duty to him."

"So let us have this over with swiftly Loki, what do you want to know?" Loki had chosen to sit on the remains of one of the fallen turrets. However, Volstagg ever egger to be out of this situation, chose to stand. Loki fidgeted slightly, and took a deep breath as if to say something only to cut himself off before starting and try it again. Three times he did this, before Volstagg's impatience started to show.  
"Well out with it!"  
"Volstagg you once told me stories of myself and Thor in our youth. What was I like?" He didn't look at him as he spoke, aware that the question showed so much of him raw and unguarded, Volstagg was not ignorant to this, and taken aback stammered slightly.  
"Well you were like any fine Asgardian youth, save for your passion for mischief. What specifically should you want to know, and to what means?" Loki resigned himself to just saying what needed to be said, and with a sigh and rushed breath blurted it out.  
"What was I like with women?" His face reddened as soon as the words came out his mouth. Volstagg was unsure of how to react to this. His eyes where wide, and his jaw hung slack on his face by the sudden nature of the question, and then he became flustered by the dawning realisation of its intimate nature.  
"Well I, that is to say . . . . well I mean. . . how should I know! You were always a very secretive person." He looked away, flustered of all the people to be asking this, he should be talking to Thor not him! And why did he want to know such thinks, the more he thought about it the more flustered he got. He felt he would rather aid in any scheme, than have to have the birds and the bees with Loki. His own thoughts terrified him, it wasn't about that was it he wouldn't have to go that far! He needed to make a quick exit before it did!  
"Look Loki I really must be off I don't have time for their sort of silly . . . . "  
"But I mean I had girlfriends right?" Loki cut him off before he could make an exit; he had gone this far he wasn't backing out now without the knowledge he came for.  
"Well yes of course you did, but why do you care why do you need to know something so trivial?"  
Volstagg was still refusing to look at the boy in front of him.  
"And these women the liked me right? And I liked them?"  
"Well I don't know, like I said you were a very secretive person. Only you knew what you were thinking"  
"But did lots of women like me?"  
The questions where coming faster than Volstagg's bumbling could answer.  
"Well you weren't exactly Fandral let's just say that. But you were known to have women be interested, from time to time. Does that answer your question!" He really was in desperate need of getting away from this, strange and peculiar conversation. He would need a lot of ale to forget about this chapter of the day.  
"Well how do you know if a girl likes you?"  
"Well I am no woman Loki, how would I know the answer to that?"

Thor had been almost everywhere in Asgard looking for his brother, but if one thing hadn't changed about the trickster, it was that if he didn't want to be found, you were unlikely to find him! He had been to his tower, which lay abandon, the training ground, the library the stables and had even flown as far at the purveyor of shaken milk in Broxton he had heard that he often frequented. But to no avail. It was on his way towards the great hall that he had come across Volstagg looking rather flustered. His face was red, and he looked to be in the greatest of haste.  
"Volstagg! Dear friend, slow down." Thor crossed over to him, and Volstagg stopped upon hearing his friend. "Dear Volstagg, you look as if you have just run the length of the bifrost!"

"And I feel every bit more aged that I look!" Thor was surprised that his friend had not laughed of the comment. He appeared to be in no gaming mood, and Thor though it best to simply cut to the chase.  
"Well I am sorry to hear that friend, but rest assured that my day has been equally trying! And there is nothing ale and mutton cannot fix in you!" Thor smiled when his friends disposition lightened.  
"Now tell me, for I have looked all over Asgard, have you seen that brother of mine?" His face dropped, and his pallor whitened, and he started to walk away in the direction of the city's taverns. Thor looked at him bewildered, if only for a moment before accrediting whatever was up with Volstagg to be Loki's doing.  
"He is beyond there." He pointed, without looking back, to where he had just come from. "And I pray you have as much fun with him as I have had today! I will be in the tavern when you are through, and I will have a Ale waiting for you!"  
"Wait, what, Volstagg what has he done now? And why on earth should I require ale to deal with it?" but Volstagg paid no heed to him. And continued on his sullen way.

Well that had all gone a little less well than expected, though Loki as he sat still staring out towards the horizon. Maybe Volstagg had not been the best option after all, but how was Loki to know he was so, delicate. In the end all he had accomplished was nearly causing Volstagg to blush to death. Was that even possible? If it was he had been close. But his thoughts still remained in a mess. This was all starting to weight to heavily on his mind, and Volstagg had only made it seem more complicated than Loki already though it was!

It was sitting like this that Thor found him, so deep in thought he had not noticed his approach. Thor frowned at how grave he looked, almost haunted.  
"Well I don't know what you have done but I don't think I have ever seen Volstagg so flustered!" His reprimand was jovial, and his tone mocking as he walked over to greet his brother. Loki till now had not noticed him, and flinched visibly at the sudden nature of Thor's announcement. He smiled at him, but Thor could see it never reached his eyes.  
"What troubles you brother? You have been melancholy as of late." His tone was as gentle as it could be.  
"I don't know what you mean dear brother, I am the same as ever I feel." He knew Thor was looking into him, and fearing his mast might slip, turned his gaze back to the horizon.

"Really? For all the time I have known you, never have you spun such a pathetically week lie." The statement held conviction, and Thor crossed his arms waiting for Loki to speak. But no answer was forthcoming. Thor sighed and strode closer to where his brother perched, and slumped himself down with a sigh.

"It hurts. To know that whatever ails you, you would rather tell to Volstagg than your own dear brother." He sat back a little and looked out towards the sky, he made no attempt to look at Loki, his answer would not be rushed. Loki could hear the sincere hurt in his brothers voice, Thor was no creature of cunning, he could not even hide from his own feelings.  
"I just wanted an objective view. If is any consolation, I think I may have made him burst a blood vessel. Did you know him to be so delicate?" Thor could tell his reply was meant to ease his hurt. And he allowed it to do so, if only for the consideration.  
"No, so what one Asgard where you asking him about?"  
"Oh you know stuff." There where long gaps between the replies, but Thor was thankful for any reply.  
"Loki what is this really all about? I will think no differently of you. . . . no matter who she is." It was a bold move, he had no idea if it would work, but he was getting nowhere fast if he let Loki hold all the cards. But even he would admit he might have put too much faith in the all mother. He expected him to deny it, to with swift candour and silver tongue, weave a pleasing lie to cover such an accusation. But he didn't. There was a long pause, and the silence was heavy on Thor's shoulders. And as he made to break it, Loki spoke first.

"How do you know if you like them? You know as more than a mere companion?" he made no effort to look up at Thor. Instead he held his gaze outwards towards the horizon. Thor's voice was soft as he answered, "Dear brother that, well that's the easy part." Thor moved closer to him and put his arm around him in a comforting gesture.  
"And I think you and I both know the answer to that." Loki was unsure of when it happened, but he had at some point come to regard his brother as wise. And putting faith in this he allowed himself to lay bare his feelings.  
"But what if I don't want to." he sounded petulant in his retort. "what if she didn't like me."  
"Have you tried to discuss these feelings with her?" Thor was far too aware of how difficult it must be for Loki to speak so openly about his feelings. Lies came as second nature to him, so he kept his gaze focused out towards the horizon with Loki. Arm hung loosely over his brothers smaller frame, and left him to answer in his own time. The sun was starting to set, and the sky was painted a dazzling hue of orange. It was a few moments before Loki made any move to answer.  
"I, I can't" Was all he managed. Thor squeezed him in reassurance.  
"Come now you must be a man in these matters just "  
"She's gone Thor. In the never coming back sort of way." Loki cut him off before he could finish. And suddenly it all seemed so clear to Thor. He had been so blind before, but it was starting to all fit into place. He pulled him close tilting the boy towards his chest and wrapping both arms round him in a tight embrace.  
"Then mourn her. Friend, or more than that mourn her. Sorrow has no quantifier." Was all he whispered into his ear, and after a moment Loki was shaking with silent sobs.  
Thor made to effort to move him or break the comfortable silence. He let Loki have his time, this is what he could give to him, he could be a big brother and maybe in the end it might turn out all right.


End file.
